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Entry #32

a mercy
Truly what can be said is, “a mercy?”
What enters my frame of mind is compassion
But then, what can be said is “compassion?”
This is where I contemplate
I take the time to browse my inner library to come up with the sources I need to cite in order to bring clarity to this idea.
The hands of the clock move as I sit in stillness….stillness…..stillness….
EPIPHANY
The compassion I have is for those who are like myself
Those who have never been in favor, popular, the smartest, good-looking, the most eloquent, considered an intellectual, or worth it to the masses.
My compassion is for those who were never given a chance to thrive, to fluorish. To those who were not taught, guided, reached out to, the door not held open.
For we are not allowed to be loving beings to ourselves
It is for you & I, for us that I am compassionate
Compassion soars into existence from this page
for IT, is a mercy

Entry #31

Jeff,
I want you to know that yes, we have our collective issues, but our collective resolve to find love, peace, and happiness should outweigh our issues. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but my feelings for you are real. With every fiber of my being I want to make this relationship work. In my heart I’d love for you to as well. So yes, lets acknowledge our flaws, but fall in love as the beautiful, unique, amazing individuals we both are.

Entry #30

Recently, I met a man. A man, who through his words alone has single-handedly thrust me into an exciting new chapter in my life. I went out on a date with him and yes I was so nervous. Once we sat down and began to talk I was so at ease. We talked for a few hours. My first impression was his genuine-ness. Through further correspondence it became clear that we both believed we had something special. He’s my first real relationship and I am his second. Both of us are so shy when it comes to showing affection, but there’s an undeniable/unspoken attraction between us. He’s such a sweetheart and it’s easy to tell. I can’t call this love, but I can call this joy.

There’s so much to say, yet all of it means nothing compared to how I feel. He makes me feel amazing, like a better man. He’s all I ever wanted and all I ever needed as far as I’m concerned. Bittersweet doesn’t describe the taste. The taste is out of this world. I can’t and won’t deny this connection. We were meant to teach each other and make each other happy. This happiness is God sent. Since the Lord has blessed me so, I will thank HIM and rejoice. I will give my all to him and this new found relationship we share. I do this in hopes that he’ll be my one & only, one day; and I’ll be his. For this opportunity, God I thank you.

frankocean:

desensitized eyes on this body i am…in this mirror i am. i got ostracized and didn’t notice till i closed my eyes last a.m. didn’t see. i need a point to keep these eyes in focus. i need my eyes to be quicker than your hands. they aren’t and won’t ever be- so when you do magic i won’t watch. see, my eyes have an ego. i need these eyes like..i need the holes in my head. i always find something off, like a hairline. symmetry gives me boner, it isn’t boring at all. my eyes don’t bore me at all. neither do yours. i never saw you fuck, except that one time? i still get off to the residue that the image left behind. what i see inside my mind now isn’t technically with my eyes. i heard about a third, but i’ll believe it when i see it blink on my forehead. big head. five head. eye don’t know. eyes just talking.   

Hmmm.
Zoom Info
Camera
Canon EOS 5D Mark II
ISO
100
Aperture
f/2.8
Exposure
1/25th
Focal Length
100mm

frankocean:

desensitized eyes on this body i am…in this mirror i am. i got ostracized and didn’t notice till i closed my eyes last a.m. didn’t see. i need a point to keep these eyes in focus. i need my eyes to be quicker than your hands. they aren’t and won’t ever be- so when you do magic i won’t watch. see, my eyes have an ego. i need these eyes like..i need the holes in my head. i always find something off, like a hairline. symmetry gives me boner, it isn’t boring at all. my eyes don’t bore me at all. neither do yours. i never saw you fuck, except that one time? i still get off to the residue that the image left behind. what i see inside my mind now isn’t technically with my eyes. i heard about a third, but i’ll believe it when i see it blink on my forehead. big head. five head. eye don’t know. eyes just talking.   

Hmmm.

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